Back to School Message from Best Buddies CA State Director Patty Evans

Hi everyone! I wanted to share the remarks I gave to the Los Angeles/Orange County Local Leadership Training on September 24^th.  It lets you know how proud I am of all of our buddies, peer buddies, advisors and administration personnel for being a part of Best Buddies CA.

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Mario Savio

Martin Luther King and Medger Evers

Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan

The Chicago Seven

Frank Kamenny, Mark Segal and Rev. Troy Perry

Denis Hayes and John Muir

All of these people led social movements, most of them just in the last 50 years - all of them fighting for equal justice and a more humane and balanced society. 

Free speech, voting and civil rights, feminism, peace movement, gay and lesbian rights and the environment - all of this happened in my lifetime.  When I was a kid, African Americans still attended separate schools and rode in the back of the bus.  Most women didn’t work, or they worked in jobs specifically targeted for women.  Gays were in the closet or in jail and no one thought about the environment.  But it all changed when I got to college.  Everyone was protesting – arguing for free speech, the right to march, taking over entire campuses.  Anti-Vietnam protests, black power, freedom marches across the south and the right to vote; the birth of feminism and gay rights.    

As we know today, 50 years later - social movements do make a difference.  They do create change.  Today, we have an African American President; women run some of the country’s largest corporations; most Americans accept global warming as a scientific fact, and gays and lesbians serve in the congress, state and city governments all over the country, and finally, as of a few days ago can now serve openly in the military.

Social movements do make a difference.  And you don’t have to have campus wide sit-ins, or burn your bra, or march on Washington!  Sometimes, all you have to do is make a friend and honor that friendship.  For, make no mistake, Best Buddies is part of a social movement and you, my friends, are agents of social change. 

Each action has a consequence, not just on you, but on the people around you.  When you have a friend with an intellectual or developmental disability, you are sending a message that your friend is no different, no less than, and no less deserving of love and respect than you are.  That’s a powerful message.  With all the earlier social movements, despite the marches, the sit-ins and protests, it was the person hiring an African American or woman; the person having a gay or lesbian friend, or the person recycling their trash who was really creating change.  Once others started to take note, the fear went out of the change.  That’s what you’re doing.  Taking fear out of change.

But, friendships aren’t the only thing that will get us to a society where individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities are fully accepted.  Why do you think people go to church instead of worshiping at home?  Why do you think we have labor unions?  Why do we have Best Buddies Chapters? 

Because in union there is strength.  When we worship, or protest, or act together, we are bigger, stronger and louder than if we do it alone.  That’s why there’s a Best Buddies International and that’s why there’s a Best Buddies California.  Because, together, we are bigger, stronger and louder than if we act alone. 

Best buddies California can only be as big, as strong and as loud as you make us.  And, sometimes we have to be very big, strong and loud – to raise money to support and expand our programs, to attract powerful new supporters, to make a splash so that people pay attention and hear our mission.  Without you, we’re only 9 people in a state with 35,484,453 people.  But, with you, we represent tomorrow’s leaders all over the state – and not just you, but your school mates and friends, your administration, your parents and their friends, and your communities. And, that’s a pretty big group.

So, please, whenever you hear from Jessica, Shelly, Andrea, David or me, listen up!  If we ask for your help, if we ask you to post, to send, to speak - please help.  We wouldn’t ask if we didn’t need you. 

A final note:  my beloved mother passed away at age 88 in July.  Although she loved me regardless of what I did, she was most proud that I’ve devoted the last 18 years of my career to working at non-profit organizations.  She always wanted to know the cause, she wanted to get educated, and she’d even start making donations.  So, make sure your parents know what you’re doing with Best Buddies CA.  Tell them why it’s important and why it’s important to you.  Involve them in your chapters and in the Best Buddies CA fundraising activities like the Friendship Walks.  They may not tell you, but I guarantee, they’ll be proud of what you’re doing. 

So thank you for being here today, for giving up part of your Saturday.  It tells us that you’re serious about this and committed to your chapter being the very best it can be.  I predict great things from you and I look forward to seeing you again throughout the year.  Thank you.

Southern California Local Leadership Training Days

Best Buddies California held 3 Leadership Training Days this Fall for our Southern California Friendship Programs. The training days were held on September 17th at Westview High School in San Diego, September 18th at Norte Vista High School in Riverside, and September 24th at Millikan High School in Long Beach.

High School and College Student officers, along with their club advisors, were invited to attend the training days this fall. Advisors were split into a breakout group during the trainings so they could network with other advisors in the area, and discuss common challenges as well as share successful ideas.  The High School and College Student Officers met together in a large group where they participated in workshops that covered a variety of topics including: Best Buddies History, Forming and Sustaining Successful Friendships, Bullying and Empowerment, Navigating the Best Buddies Online System, and Gathering Community Support for your local chapter.

LA and OC Student Leaders

In addition, the students learned about several Best Buddies / Special Olympics join initiatives- namely the Spread The Word To End The Word Campaign (www.r-word.org) and Eunice Kennedy Shriver Day.  The students brainstormed ideas about local events they could plan at their schools and in their communities to celebrate these 2 initiatives.

At the September 24th training, students were joined by 2 Special Guests, Jeanine Mason, from last season's show So You Think You Can Dance, as well as her boyfriend Beau, from the MTV show Awkward. Jeanine choreographed a fun dance to Lady Gaga's 'Born this way'. She taught the dance during a 45 minute session at the September 24th training, and students shared excitement over the upcoming Best Buddies flash mob- which will be held at a secret location in LA mid-October.  Best Buddies and Jeanine Mason hope to spread their mission of social inclusion with this flash mob, and raise awareness about Best Buddies California.

Jeanine Mason teaching a dance to our student officers

All 3 trainings were a great success, and nearly 200 student officers and advisors in Southern California left the trainings with new resources and ideas under their belts to lead successful programs at their respective chapters this year.

Bay Area Local Leadership Training Day Hosts Over 75 Student Officers, and New Chapters

The Bay Area office was stunned by the success our Local Leadership Training Day 2012. Over 75 student officers from around the Bay Area turned out! The training presented a local opportunity to attend sessions from the Best Buddies International Leadership Conference in Bloomington, Indiana.

Sessions included material on the history of disability rights, planning a chapter calendar and budget, and providing quality match support for buddy pairs. The training also provides the opportunity for local officers and chapters to connect and coordinate with each other.

The highlight of the conference included the star performance of Buddy Director Danny and Chapter President Victoria Liu. Danny and Victoria hailed from Foothill High School in Pleasanton, CA. They volunteered to perform a role-playing scenario in which they modeled a successful interview for a potential buddy or peer buddy. Victoria asked Danny about his motivations for joining a Best Buddies chapter, his commitment and availability, and his interests. Danny stood out as an articulate and self-assured young man – surely anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend, and his chapter is fortunate to have him as a leader. As Buddy Director, Danny represents students with IDD in his chapter’s officer corps.

Another highlight was the contribution of Special Education Advisor Rami Aweti to our conversation about disability rights. Program Manager May Tulin (author of this blog piece) gave a short presentation on the history of disability rights. The presentation brought up the topics of both social justice and civil rights, contextualizing Best Buddies part of the social movement for the rights of people with IDD. Mr. Aweti reminded the conference participants that special education is a key civil right, hard-won, for young people with disabilities. Best Buddies attempts to bridge the social divide that continues to exist between students in these two departments of public schools.

Mr. Aweti also represented one of 11 new Best Buddies chapters in San Francisco. He hails from Mission High School in San Francisco. The conference also hosted students from the new George Washington High School and the new Thurgood Marshall High School/San Francisco State University chapter.

As we are every year, BBCA was indebted to the Cal-Berkeley Best Buddies Chapter for hosting the event. This year, Cal senior Hagikah Birden put in extra volunteer hours to help secure and coordinate space for the event.

Many thanks to all those who attended this wonderful day!

Rolling with it: My time hunting for ramps, jumping curbs, and waiting to park in the blue spaces

By Jessica Patton, Lead Employment Consultant, Best Buddies California Jobs Program

Last month, I fractured the fifth metatarsal of my left foot.  Actually, my doctor says I shattered it into about a half dozen pieces.  My mom always said that if I do something, I make sure that I do it right.  With very little time to digest the predicament, I found myself in a cast, prohibited from putting any weight on my foot for at least eight weeks and was told that not only was it likely that I would need surgery, but that I would need to stay off of that foot for another several weeks or even months after the surgery!   I went into a panic.  A broken foot and crutches would normally not cause a crisis in a person’s life.  Using crutches is merely a nuisance for most.  But I am a job coach for Best Buddies Jobs.  I follow around Kevin as he sweeps up in a busy warehouse at GUESS?, Inc. in downtown Los Angeles.   I coach Thomas and Alex at Sprouts Farmers Market in Culver City as they return “go-backs” to the shelves at the market and collect carts in the parking lot.  And I observe Jon as he goes on “runs” at Access Hollywood in Burbank, delivering tapes of commercials and stocking supplies in the production office.  I climb stairs, scale hills and walk blocks in one day, from one job site to the other.  I am in and out of the car, driving all over the city to different job sites and need to be efficient with my time.  In my panic, I wondered how in the world I was going to do my job if I couldn’t walk.

Everyone at Best Buddies California has been amazing as I figure out how to do my job with this new temporary disability.  Rachel Spooner, BBCA Jobs Program Supervisor, and Patricia Evans, BBCA State Director, helped me brainstorm how I could support my participants while taking care of myself.  I could spend more time making telephone calls checking-in with my participants and sending emails to their supervisors to see how our buddies are doing in meeting their goals.  I could do more work from the office and even work from home if the pain got to be too much.  

My doctor also helped me problem-solve this situation.  She gave me the form to take to the Department of Motor Vehicles stating that I needed a temporary disabled parking placard.  She also wrote me a prescription for a knee walker, which fortunately my insurance covered.  An alternative to crutches, it enables me to get around easily and independently, while I continue to coach my participants on their jobs.  Using my knee walker (or my wheeler, as I call it) means I have to avoid stairs.  If I can’t use a ramp or the elevator, I can’t get in.  If the sidewalks are broken (or don’t exist), if there aren’t any disabled parking spaces available, or if the curbs are too high for me to jump, I am seriously limited in my ability to get around.  

I have needed some of the accommodations that Rachel and Patty suggested, but I’m fortunate that I have been able to, for the most part, continue supporting my participants.  With the help of my wheeler, I can still help Thomas figure out where to put back the gluten-free cereal at Sprouts.  I can follow Kevin around as he sweeps up in the warehouse at GUESS?.  I can even go with Jon as he delivers the tapes downstairs at Access Hollywood.  It’s just not as easy as it used to be.

Even after 21 years of the Americans with Disabilities Act, there are still too many barriers for people with disabilities.  My temporary disability has given me a new point of view to some of the challenges that people with disabilities face every single day as they try to get around the city and live their lives independently.  The other day, I decided to go grab coffee with a friend at a coffee shop just around the corner from his house.  Normally, I would have made this short walk with no problem.  I would have enjoyed the exercise and the beautiful day.  But my wheeler made this day very different.  When I reached the busy intersection in Hollywood, I paused to survey the situation.  Cars in this intersection often rush pedestrians as they try to get to the 101 Freeway ramp, inching into the crosswalk and turning just as soon as they can squeeze by the pedestrian.  This always annoyed me, but I never felt scared or unsafe.  Yet on that day, I was genuinely worried.  I have to be extremely careful because my wheeler can tip over on bumps or cracks in the pavement.  I worried that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on crossing the street, watch out for aggressive LA drivers, and keep myself upright all at the same time.  I did manage to cross the street without any mishaps, but my biggest problem came as I got to the end of the crosswalk – there was no ramp to get up over the curb.  I had to lift my wheeler (which weighs over twenty pounds) while balancing on one foot, then hop up over the curb to the safety of the sidewalk.  All this while a string of cars, attempting to turn right on red, were inching towards me.  I had to cross the road again to get to my destination and faced the same challenge.  Of the four corners of that intersection, only one had a ramp to get past the curb.  If I were in a wheelchair, I would have been stranded on the street, unable to get up onto the sidewalk.  I crossed that intersection a hundred times before my injury and never gave the ramps (or lack thereof) a thought until that day.  It was an eye-opening experience, not to mention scary.

Jessica P. on a ramp

I could give you dozens of examples of the barriers that I face as I go about my day.  Able-bodied women who use the disabled stall in the restroom because they like the extra space but don’t think about the people who use wheelchairs or other medical equipment that need the extra space.  Parking lots with only one disabled spot that’s taken by a vehicle without a disabled placard.  Buildings with one or two steps to get into the door and no ramp in sight.  Movie theaters that reserve the worst seats in the house for patrons with disabilities.  Who wants to sit in the front row of an IMAX movie anyway?  It was even a challenge for me to get into the Best Buddies California office. Before I broke my foot, I always went up the stairs to our second floor office.  When I started using my wheeler, I had to wheel around the entire building to find the elevator (there’s just one that goes to our floor).  I just hope the elevator isn’t out of order when I really need it.

  

In some ways, breaking my foot and using my wheeler has been a valuable experience for me.  The old adage says you can't really know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.  I know this to be true.  Maybe using a wheelchair or other mobility assistive device for a day should be required training for all job coaches.  Not all of my participants have physical disabilities but some of them do and it changes how they can do their jobs.  I am an even better job coach because I see the obstacle course that is their life in this busy (and not so accessible) city and it is not easy. I believe that I will be even better at developing new jobs for participants who do have physical disabilities because I can see what some of their challenges may be and envision jobs that may be more suited to their unique challenges.

So when my foot is healed and I’m back to walking as usual, I’m going to keep these lessons in the back of my mind.  Instead of complaining about having to park blocks away from my destination and being annoyed that I have to walk up a few flights of stairs, I’m going to remind myself that I am so fortunate to be able to walk those blocks, cross those streets, and scale those steep stairs with no fear or worry.  

My Great Sick Day at Best Buddies California

By Shelly Helgeson

Last Thursday was a tough one for me.  As we continually are opening new Best Buddies chapters in San Francisco, every day seems busier than the last. But, with a visitor from Best Buddies International keeping us in intense meetings all day and then an evening officer meeting at University of San Francisco on my plate, this day was downright chaotic.  On top of that, I woke up in the morning with my tonsils feeling like they were the size of golf balls and my body temperature about 100 degrees too high.  (Okay, maybe not really that high, but even a slight fever makes me feel delusional so who knows how high my temperature really was.)  Needless to say, I was just hoping to make it through the day.

First up were the expansion strategy meetings.  They are more exciting than they sound, but not by much.  Certainly not exciting enough to make me forget the bubonic plague-like symptoms that were knocking at my door.  I made it through the morning okay, but post-lunch was another story.  I should have learned from watching The Exorcist that split pea soup is just really never a good idea, but somehow in my feverish state, my muddled mind told me mashed-up peas would be the answer to my prayers.  Not so.  Really not so . . .  okay, moving on.

I knew I had to at least keep it together until after my meeting with the new officer corps at University of San Francisco’s (USF) chapter of Best Buddies.  We were meeting at 6:00pm on campus to discuss goals for the upcoming year and to meet the new student leaders.  Buddy Director John Coulter was arriving at our office at 5:30pm and I was to drive him over to campus as well.  Knowing I was responsible for transporting John to the meeting was really what kept me going.  I always enjoy spending time with John.  Kately Bollenbacher, the College Buddy Director at USF told me once last year that, “John is always up for anything.”  As I’ve gotten to know John better in the last year, I’ve found this statement to be entirely true.

Here is a summary of my work with John Coulter last year:

 

Me: John, would you like to speak at our Kick-Off Party?

John: Sure!

Me: John, would you like to attend our Buddy Ambassador Workshop where you will write a speech about yourself and work on your presentation skills?

John: Sure!

Me: Hey John, how do you feel about delivering that speech to an audience of 500 at the Best Buddies Friendship Walk in San Francisco?

John: Sure!

And he did it all with incredible enthusiasm, courage and skill!

John arrived at our office and his same upbeat personality I knew from him last year, lifted my spirits and provided the extra-umph I needed to pull through the evening’s meeting. 

However, this is not to say our evening was easy by any means!  First of all, the San Francisco fog was at its fullest force that night!  In fact, it was blowing so hard and so thick that I could barely see 3 feet in front of me.   I fought through the  city’s evening rush hour traffic with John as my co-pilot, pointing out darkly dressed pedestrians and thrill-seeking motorcyclists so I could do my best to avoid them.  We both screamed with worry as I wriggled the car down one of San Francisco’s infamous steep hills and saw a skate boarder take a hard spill right in front us.  We stopped to ensure he was okay and learning that he hurt nothing but his pride, finally pulled into the USF parking garage.

Arriving fashionably late, John and I slid into our seats and were promptly introduced to the new corps of officers. I was happy to learn that Krisna Tahija, an international student from Indonesia, is the chapter’s new College Buddy Director.  Krisna joined Best Buddies as a freshman at USF last year and was matched with Buddy, John Hammond.  They became fast friends and went on to win Outstanding Buddy Pair of the Year for the entire Bay Area.  John Hammond was at the meeting too.  For the second year in a row, he will serve as Activities Coordinator for the chapter.  Laura, Chelsea and Valeria will round out the USF officer corps (all in positions for the first time) and Katelyn returned to lend advice from what she learned leading USF’s chapter last year.

For the two hours I was at the meeting, I completely forgot that I was sick.  These types of meetings are truly what make all the strategic planning, paperwork and report writing worthwhile.  Talking with this group of energetic and dedicated young adults with and without developmental disabilities is inspiring.  There really isn’t anything quite like a Best Buddies chapter meeting where students with varied abilities come together to focus on their similarities and what they can achieve with their common goals.  I’m so glad that both John Coulter and John Hammond have decided to return in leadership roles with USF Best Buddies.  The insight they provide and the passion they bring to the chapter is unprecedented.  This is going to be a stellar year!

As the meeting adjourned I had the honor of presenting the new and old officers with the official California Outstanding College Chapter award that USF won for the 2010-2011 school year.  This award was originally presented by Anthony Kennedy Shriver at the Best Buddies International Leadership Conference at Indiana University.  John Hammond represented the chapter at the conference and met Anthony.  I humbly stood in Anthony’s stead last Thursday as I presented the award to the officers who could not attend.

On the ride back to John’s house we continued to excitedly talk about the year ahead with Best Buddies.   With so many big ideas circulating, there is a lot to plan and so much to do.  John quickly called his mom to let him know the meeting ran late and not to worry about us maneuvering through the hills in the fog that was now even thicker than the pea soup I forced down for lunch.  He spoke to his mom in Spanish.  (John is bilingual – another talent I was unaware of!)  As I said goodbye to John and pointed my car toward home, I thought to myself, “There is still so much I have to learn from these student leaders. “

Best Practices for Training Volunteers with Students with Disabilities (5 Steps)

 

Yesterday, I had the privilege of attending two amazing meetings with student officers at Vanden High School (Fairfield, CA) and Jesse Bethel High School (Vallejo, CA). Our discussions ranged from Best Buddies Prom to online registrations. For today’s blog, I thought I’d share the part of our conversation I found most exciting: how students can lead a great Abilities Awareness Training.

Let me first explain what an “officer meeting” is, for those less familiar with our programs. A school-based Best Buddies chapter is a group of students and faculty committed to promoting an inclusive student body. “Inclusion” means the full inclusion, not segregation, of students with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD). Because students with IDD often take only special education classes, they have little opportunity to develop relationships with the general student body and suffer great social stigma. Thusly, in a Best Buddies club, students and faculty match a student with IDD in a one-to-one friendship with a neurotypical peer. The students who run the club call themselves the “officer corps.”

Audrey Moore and Kelsey Tigh are the highly motivated, highly organized Chapter Presidents of their respective corps. They asked me to meet with them, as Program Manager, in order to discuss their plans for the coming year. I asked what was on all the officers’ minds:

Joanna from Jesse Bethel High School said she wanted to “improve interactions” between buddies and peer buddies. She sometimes saw buddy pairs interacting with some discomfort: maybe a peer buddy talked over a non-verbal buddy, or sat perfunctorily for lunch, leaving quickly. Such discomforts would naturally arise in a social club like ours, but they’re no reason to not have friendship clubs. Instead, we should work through these problems.

Kelsey Tigh recalled a great dialogue exercise from Leadership Conference worth sharing. The exercise compared a typical dialogue between a Peer Buddy and Buddy, a parent and a child, and two friends on a soccer team. Each dialogue looks like this:

Parent: Hi, sweetie.  How did you do in school today?

Child: Hi.  It was fine.  We worked on math for a while.  What did you do?

Parent: You worked on math?!  Awesome!  Was it really hard?  Do you need help with it?

Child: No, it was fine.  I made you a card today in class.

Parent: Oh my gosh!  You are so cute (hugs child)!  Did you make this all by yourself??  This is the BEST drawing ever!  I’m going to hang it on the fridge!

In the dialogue exercise, two presenters simply replace the titles “Parent and Child” with “Peer buddy and Buddy,” and “Soccer captain and Teammate,” respectively. After the presentation, a facilitator asks the audience perfectly self-evident questions: does the dialogue seem natural and appropriate between two friends? Between a parent and child? Do you ever see interactions like this in your club between a peer buddy and buddy?

The lessons of the presentation are self-evident. The dialogue may raise questions that program managers or chapter presidents are afraid to ask their club members. But these ideas are perfectly appropriate to point out – actually in my opinion as program manager, these questions are essential. 

Furthermore, don’t be afraid that your peer buddies or volunteers won’t understand or might be “threatened” by these questions. Volunteers join clubs like Best Buddies with great intentions and want guidance! Often, as soon as you present the idea of this dialogue to peer buddies, you see their interactions with buddies become far more “normalized.” 

As program manager, I greatly encourage the use of exercises like this in Best Buddies or in any “inclusion-based” club. Exercises like this are a best practice for anyone working with students with and without disabilities.

Learn more about inclusion:

Inclusion.com

Broadreach Training Resources

The Beach Center
Disability Awareness: Do it Right!

Read more about neurotypical:

Checklist of Neurotypical Privilege 
Am I Neurotypical?

5 steps you can take to better train your volunteers:

1) Explore resources by and from people with disabilities. Share their voices with your volunteers.

•  http://aspergersquare8.blogspot.com/2009/08/checklist-of-neurotypical-privilege-new.html
• www.iamnorm.org 

2) Do a dialogue exercise like the one featured in this article.
3) Create an anonymous box at the front of your classroom so students and instructional assistants can ask questions or voice discomforts.
4) Share a little about disability history with your volunteers so that they can conceptualize their volunteer work as activism, not “help.” Relate it to racism and sexism!
5) Reach out to professional organizations to do trainings:

• Broadreach Training Resources
• http://www.danceofpartnership.com/ 

- May Tulin, Program Manager, BBCA Bay Area